


sex, drugs, etc.

by scrapnotez



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Crying, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending, Kissing, Mentions of Death, Multi, Oneshot, Sobbing, Suicidal Thoughts, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:08:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28306545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapnotez/pseuds/scrapnotez
Summary: Eight broken friends, lovers, whatever you would call them. Having a sobbing fest at night in a grass field while drunk.
Relationships: ATEEZ Ensemble/Everyone, Choi Jongho/Kang Yeosang, Choi Jongho/Song Mingi, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kang Yeosang/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Kim Hongjoong/Song Mingi, Park Seonghwa/Song Mingi
Kudos: 43





	sex, drugs, etc.

**Author's Note:**

> hi i wrote this because i’m like sad and i don’t wanna be sad and like this really sucks and it’s bad so that’s why it’s a one shot and short lol but um yeah. i like the last part. if you’re struggling, please reach out. you are worth more than you think. continue living. i love you. 
> 
> was inspired by the song sex, drugs, etc by Beach Weather but idk what happened to the concept lol.

They were invincible as one, life behind them. Jumping off the cliff, diving into the waters, just to feel something. Something felt with each other.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


There Hongjoong was, feeling disgusting, and useless, the ugly cigarette between his fingers as he sat outside Seonghwa’s apartment. The sidewalk's lights flicker on and he stares at them before turning back to look at the time on his phone, leaning to the side against the railing as he waits.

His instant camera was slung around his neck, pins and ribbons stuck with super glue on the lanyard. Eyes half opened as he stared at the sun setting until he felt an arm sling around his shoulders, smiling at the man sitting next to him. He throws the cig on the ground, stepping on it with his beaten up Docs a few times, those psychedelic colors swirling around on his boots, drawn messily with paint markers late at night. 

“You weren’t picking up.” Hongjoong says, his head hanging low as he quickly picks up his camera and presses down on the shutter, capturing the surprised face of Seonghwa. The polaroid dispenses quickly and Hongjoong grinned cheekily at the older, waving the picture around in his face. 

“Yeah I didn’t think my asshole boyfriend would interrupt my sleeping time you know.” Seonghwa sticks his tongue out, and Hongjoong does it back to him, sliding the photo into his back pocket after it develops properly. “Anything you say fucker. But you still spent all that time getting dolled up for me anyways didn’t you?” Hongjoong scoffs, pushing himself off the stairs, Seonghwa’s arm gripping his waist.

They walked down the stairs and Seonghwa intertwined his fingers into Hongjoong’s colorful hair, watching intently as the other held his camera tightly.

It’s getting dark quick and Hongjoong forgets that his camera doesn’t have a polished enough flash for the nighttime. He gets nervous and quickly snaps another shot of Seonghwa holding his phone in the middle of the road under the single light that lit them. It’s quiet apart from the cold wind blowing at them, Hongjoong looking at the polaroid in his hand and slipping it in his back pocket again. He slows down for Seonghwa to catch up and slips his fingers tightly between the other’s hands. 

“Let’s call up everyone. And get fucking wasted.” Hongjoong grinned, biting at his right thumb.

  
  
  
  
  


Jongho, maybe the most normal out of the eight, but what defines normal? They were all wild cards and it wouldn’t be surprising if Jongho ran an underground drug cartel at the ripe age of twenty. Then, there was Yeosang, the pretty and innocent boy within them. 

There was always a small guilt that grew in Hongjoong, for turning Yeosang into something different, more carefree. Maybe his parents didn’t love him but the other seven of them did and Yeosang ran with them ever since.

Yunho, the good boy that looked over all them. He was on Jongho’s level and compared to Hongjoong, he was a saint. He grew up alone without anyone and it was as if the other seven was all he had, a tight grasp on all of them, afraid of losing them. He had a soulmate, Mingi, who was quiet and reserved, a wallflower. They were all wallflowers, a field, stepped on too many times. Mingi was a quiet band kid, and just like Yunho, he had no one and the first to ever care was Yunho. 

San and Wooyoung were the wildest, the most broken, the most free. They did everything together, jump off cliffs while high on illegal weed, and drink ‘till their insides were burning. It would be surprising if they didn’t pull the others into everything they did, illegal or not. 

It hurt everytime, everytime they destroyed themselves even more, it was so fun yet they were hurting in the best ways possible. They vowed to die together, holding hands as they fell further. Nothing mattered except each other and they wouldn’t want to change a thing. 

  
  
  
  


Hongjoong and Seonghwa were laying flat on the field of dead flowers, the transition from autumn to winter and they were resting, a melancholy feeling dwelling on each of them as they slightly shivered at the wind at night. 

Mingi arrived first, one of the only punctual people between all eight of them. He crouched down and looked over the two older males, waving blankly. Hongjoong raised his eyebrows and gestures with his hands for Mingi to sit down on the picnic blanket.

The tallest male brought his classic pick, a fresh bottle of soju to share. He didn’t drink as much as the others but it would be rude (in his mind) to show up empty handed. He enjoyed the refreshing feeling of soju and it’s the only thing he wouldn’t mind downing in the span of minutes. 

Mingi spots the few bottles of whiskey and craft beer, laying horizontally besides Seonghwa and he chuckles at it. Of course they would pick those. The two laying down seem rather bored, and Mingi, places down his canvas bag and goes down elbows first, laying between the eldests.

“Where’s the tension? At least be crying to music or something.” Mingi complained. Seonghwa flicks his forehead and groans. “We wouldn’t be asking to get drunk if we were _feeling_ something. We would be skydiving without parachutes instead. There’s a difference.”

“Yeah. He’s fucking right.” Hongjoong joins in, raising his eyebrows. 

Mingi nods teasingly, mocking Hongjoong and turns back to give the oldest a soft kiss against his lips. “Fuck I missed that.” the tallest huffs, licking his lips.

“Me too.” Seonghwa says, propping himself up with his elbow and using his other hand to gently wrap around Mingi’s neck, going back in for another kiss, this time with more thought. 

Hongjoong pulls at Mingi’s jacket, whining. “Princess don’t forget about me.” he mumbles, wrapping both arms around Mingi’s neck and pulling him down along, kissing his lips roughly, biting at them, and tasting Seonghwa on his lips.

Hongjoong was never gentle when it came to physical affection and Mingi sighs happily when his lips touch the other’s lip piercing. “Fuck, the piercing never gets old.”

“Bet.”

And they hear a groan coming from beside them, looking up to see a disgruntled Wooyoung over them. “Having fun? Getting started without us huh.” and San peeks from behind him. “Hi.”

San looked a bit timid today from Hongjoong’s perspective. There were dark circles under his eyes and he didn’t look, happy at all, but Hongjoong doubts any of them are happy. He toggles on the flash of his phone and quickly snaps a photo of San hiding behind Wooyoung.

San takes a few seconds to process what happened and he looks at the other with curious eyes. The polaroid dispenses and Hongjoong raises his eyebrows at it. “Cheer up would y’a?” he said. San hums lowly, gripping at Wooyoung’s shoulder and Mingi sees the whisper of assurance from Wooyoung. 

“Hongjoong’s being a dick today. Don’t listen to him. Take it at your own pace.” Seonghwa said, reaching up to hold San’s free hand and smiling at him, wiggling his arm around. 

  
  
  


The other remaining three, Yeosang, Yunho, and Jongho rounded up to the field together, an odd trio to be together but Hongjoong could care less.

“FUCK IT! WE ALL DIE ONE DAY! LET’S RUIN OUR LIVES!” Hongjoong screamed at the top of his lungs and the others laughed at him. He held a can of craft beer in his hand and gripped it tightly, chugging down every last drop of it. There’s indie-rock and pop playing from Seonghwa’s cracked phone, lying idle on the grass and Hongjoong is already sobbing and rubbing the tears off his face.

Yeosang sat quietly, swirling around his own bottle of grape soju, and looking at the scenes unfold in front of him. He snaps out of a trance after he feels a warm tear drip onto the back of his hand, feeling his own face that was lined with tears too. 

“We’re so fucking dumb.” Wooyoung said, exchanging drinks with Yunho. They mouth lyrics to the songs and continue getting sloshed. Yunho grinned at everyone crying and screaming, looking up at the sky the twinge in his chest. He slowly breaks down in his hands, his body curling up, twitching with each breath he took in. “I just want us to be happy. Please.” he cried, and San stared at him, hand resting on Yunho’s cheek and rubbing the tears away. 

“Hey… you’ve done enough for us. You should be happy that we’re not- dead yet.” San chuckled, his eyes soft, but at the same time, they were begging to let go the tears trapped inside. 

Jongho and Mingi had their arms slung over each other’s shoulders. Mingi, a self proclaimed non-drinker has gotten through three bottles of soju already. 

He notices Yeosang away from everyone else, the lone tear sitting on his cheek and Jongho looks over and sees it too. Mingi taps his hand on Yeosang’s shoulder and gestures for him to scoot closer, right between and in the middle of them. 

Yeosang shakes his head but boy were Jongho and Mingi persuasive because Yeosang scoots closer in the matter of seconds. He giggles a bit as the drunken state of everyone, maybe himself included and feels the warmth of everyone on his body. 

“I would be dead without you. Thanks.” Yeosang laughed, raising his bottle up high and toasting it with the two beside him. 

Jongho chugs half a bottle of the craft beer in his hand, turning to his right and giving Yeosang a peck on the cheek, and Mingi follows. 

Seonghwa smiles at everyone having fun, the temporary fun that they always have. It doesn’t, _never,_ lasts forever and he just wishes anything to turn out differently. Without any of their shortcomings, just a path forward, stepping over each obstacle with confidence instead of wariness that they always carried on themselves. 

An end to the damaging things they did to themselves and instead, a way to move forward without carrying guilt or grief internally but instead, letting it all flutter away.

No more being apart, no more self-loathing, no more pain. Instead, move forward, continue living, live everyday like it’s not your last but instead your favorite day ever. Be with who you want to be with, do what you want to do.

  
  


**_Continue living._ **


End file.
